


If only Hell wasn't Awaiting us

by mimixiu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1800's, F/F, F/M, Forbidden Love, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 17:56:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2590865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimixiu/pseuds/mimixiu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the 1800's and Jared never felt quite normal, but hey, neither did Jensen.<br/>Jensen is Jared's younger sister's suitor, but it's not her Jensen wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If only I wasn't an Abomination

"Please papa, I do not wish to marry," Megan begged her father "I'm too young. I must do more with my life before I waste away!" Slow tears fell out of her red, puffy eyes.

"Megan," Jared spoke up from across her on the dining table "perhaps it is in your best interest to agree to this wedding. I'm sure your suitor is a fine gentleman," he smiled his dimpled smile at her, "and if he does mistreat you, I assure you, Jeff and I will not be too pleased."

"Jared," the young lady whined at her older brother, "I do not want to marry for the sake of business but for the sake of love," she told him, smiling dreamingly.

"You could yet fall in love with this man. Mother and father had married for the sake of business yet they are deep in love," he gestured towards his parents, who sat quietly at the end of the table, slowly eating the breakfast feed.

Megan sighed over dramatically and turned back to her mother and father. "I will only marry this man on one very specific condition. He is to come for dinner tonight and if Jared," she looks pointedly at said man "deems him worthy of my hand in marriage. Agreed?" She sat up straighter, prepared for a lecture.

"Agreed, my dear," his father said, easily and quickly. "Besides, I trust Jared to have good judgment," he wiped at his mouth with his serviette.

Megan jumped up excitedly, skipping quickly to her mother and father.

She wrapped her arms around her fathers shoulders, placing a chaste kiss on his head. "Thank you papa," she hugged her mother "thank you mama," she pulled away and smiled widely at them.

Without asking to be excused she pounced off, out of the dining area to get ready to meet her possible future husband.

"Well, she is one of a puppy," Jeff finally spoke up, being finished his food. He stood up out of his chair and smoothly looked at Jared, "good luck and have fun, little brother."

_______________________________________

Jared stood up out of the bath, his serevent quick to assist in drying him.

"Genevieve," he lay his hands on her shoulders gently "how many time must I assure you, I am not a child. I can do it myself," Jared smiled down at her, trying to prove to her he is not lying.

Genevieve was born and raised in the Padalecki household. One of Padalecki's servant had slept with another causing her to fall pregnant.

Unlike most woman though, Mrs. Sherri Padalecki didn't dismiss the newly pregnant lady, instead she helped her through the pain and tears.

When the child was finally delivered though, the mother had died.

Mrs. Padalecki had wanted the child to find a nice family, yet she couldn't bring herself with the child. So she had named her Genevieve, after her birth mother.

Then only two years later, she had Jared.

"I'm sorry master, but it is required of me, as your personal servant," she looked at the ground, feeling the responsibility of a servant.

Jared took hold of her chin and brought her head up so they made eye contact. "Call me Jared. And I must be honest, but I do feel uncomfortable with you drying my naked body," he smirked at her rising blush. 

"Oh gosh," she gasped, covering her mouth with a delicate hand, "I never thought of it like that. Apologies Jared," she took a haste step back from him and turned her back to him.

Jared chuckled at her fondly. He reached out and grabbed a freshly washed towel. "Besides Gen, you are no ordinary servant. Quite frankly I don't have an incline of a clue as to why you even take such chores," Jared pondered as he wrapped his body with the towel.

"I must earn my keep," she replied solemnly.

She knew all to well what happened to servants who did not work. She had seen more than one hanging in the town square of servants who dared disobeyed. She would like to keep her life, thank you very much.

_______________________________________

Jared, Jeff and their father are standing by the mansions front door, eager for the Ackles' arrival. 

It felt as if an eternity has passed before they finally hear the arrival of a carriage.

Mr. Padalecki moved forward and eagerly opened the large doors, revealing a quite large carriage, larger than the Padalecki's, being pulled by two large, beautiful, black Friesian horses.

As soon as the carriage came to a halt, the driver jumped off the front of the carriage and made his way to the doors of the thing.

When he opened it, an older man jumped out without any assistance.

That man was Mr. Alan Ackles.

After he finally found his proper footing, he assisted a older woman out, who Jared presumed to be Miss. Donna Ackles. They shared a quick kiss, displaying there love for one another.

After they starting their way to the door, a man jumped out, followed by a woman, then another man.

When they finally reached the waiting gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Ackles shook hands with Mr. Padalecki, then with his sons.

"My gosh, aren't you boys big. My gosh, Gerald! What did you feed them as children?" Mrs. Ackles gushed.

Mr. Padalecki laughed at her enthusiasm, "Jared is yet to grow more," he stated proudly, putting a hand on Jared's broad shoulder.

Mr. and Mrs. Ackles introduced their children as Joshua, the eldest, Mackenzie, the youngest and Jensen the middle child and the suitor.

There was something Jared couldn't deny. Jensen Ackles was beautiful. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of green, surrounded by the longest eye lashes he had ever seen on a male. He had natural freckles flickered across his face and was tall, yet not taller than Jared nor Jeff.

When Jensen shook Jared's hand, it was a strong steady shake, yet it held the slightest of warmth which made Jared quite aware of how different this man seemed.

"Please, do come in. My wife and daughter await us in the living room," he stepped to the side, allowing everyone else to walk into the impressive parlor.

"Wow. What a spectacular place," Mr. Ackles gushed, running a hand along the marble wall.

"It's not nearly as big as our home tough," Mackenzie spoke for the first time, her voice sounding snobby.

"Well, we apologize that our home isn't nearly as spectacular as yours," Jared spoke up, voice laced with sarcasm.

"Jared," Mr. Padalecki snapped, "watch you tone, boy," he scolded, giving small slap to Jared's arm.

"No please, Mr. Padalecki, we apologize for Mackenzie's rude words," Jensen spoke up as he shot her a stern look.

Everybody stood there for a minute, the air tense.

Mr. Padalecki coughed into his fist, "well, shall we?" He waved in the general direction on the living room.

"Yes, let's," Mr. Ackles replied, stiffly.

The odd group made their way to the living room to meet Mrs. Padalecki and Megan.

When they finally reached their destination, all were glad for the distraction of the two lovely ladies on the couch wearing long and large dresses.

When they walked into the room both women looked up, genuinely startled of their arrival.

They both stood up to great the Ackles.

Mrs. Padalecki shook each of their hands, whilst smiling. Megan shook their hands after her mother had done, meeting Jensen last.

When their hands met, Jensen took hold of her hand firmly and brought it slowly to his plush lips.

"You, my dear are more beautiful than I have imagined," causing Megan to blush lightly.

"You are also not quite as I expected you to be," she told him honestly.

Their quite open flirting delighted both families except for Jared. He felt quite uneasy at their easy flirtation.

He cleared his throat, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. "May I make a quick trip to the restroom?" He addressed his father.

"Of course son. Don't be long, dinner will be soon."

With that Jared left the room for the restroom to relieve himself.

***

When Jared had finally done, he washed his hands furiously, then dried them. He looked at himself in the large vanity, disliking his blushed looking face.

He walked out of the restroom, looking down at the ground.

'How stupid of me. I am an abomination of God's creation,' he scolded himself.

"Oh Jared," a nice husky voice suddenly said. Jared looked up to meet the beautiful eyes of Jensen Ackles.

"Are you... Lost?" Jared asked, hesitant.

"Well actually, I came in search of you," he smiled sweetly.

"Me? Why?" Jared felt quite confused.

"How old are you Jared?" He wanted to know.

"I'm twenty," Jared replied, wondering where this was headed.

"Your sister she's... Eighteen, yes?" He asked, stepping closer.

"Yes she is, but I'm sure you knew that," Jared was quick to snap at him.

"You are mere children compared to me," he laughed lowly.

"You aren't that old, otherwise I wouldn't even let my sister consider marrying you," Jared narrowed his eyes angrily.

"Correct. I'm only twenty-four. But what do you mean you wouldn't even let her consider marrying me?"

Jensen now stood right up at Jared, looking up slightly.

"She would only marry you if I deem you worthy. It was an agreement," Jared says, proud of his new found responsibility.

"Well, would you deem me worthy now?" Before Jared could ask what Jensen mean by that, Jensen's lips were on his own, Jensen's tongue swiping lightly on Jared's bottom lip.

Jared shoved Jensen back roughly, to the point as to Jensen hitting his back on the wall.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Jared hissed, narrowing his eyes angrily. He didn't let the shocked looking Jensen answer, as Jared ran away quickly, making his way to the dining room.

As Jared was reaching his desired room, he slowed down then came to a halt.  
He listened to the group also talk loudly, completely unaware of what had just happened.

"Are you going to go in?" A soft voice spoke.  
Jared looked over at Jensen and smiled tightly.

"After you," he told Jensen, voice strained. Jensen walked into the room, stride full of confidence.  
Jared slowly followed, nervous for what was to come.


	2. Maybe I'll like Hell

"You are completely and utterly ridiculous!" Megan yelled at Jared, showing no remorse to his reasoning.

"Megan, as I said before, I do not want you to marry that man," Jared replied, trying to speak the calmest he could muster.

Jared could still feel the man's soft lips on his, sending arousal to a place no man should able to do to another man.

"Jared, please. I think I love him," she pleads.

"You cannot love a man you just met," Jared replies, completely shocked.

"Well, I do," she stated stubbornly.

"Fine, marry him and see how horrid your life will be," Jared snapped harshly, then spun around on his heel, heading towards his chambers.

His steps echoed throughout the empty marble halls, giving him time to think of green eyes.

____________________________________________

When Jared opened his chamber's door, the sight his eyes met shocked him.  
Genevieve lay on his bed, next to another woman. And they were... Kissing.

"Genevieve," Jared said, grabbing her attention.  
She sat up as fast as bullet.

"Jared, I mean master, I'm so sorry. You see looked ere cleaning your chambers and then you see we-"

"Please save your breath," Jared raised a hand to silence her, "I don't care about your excuses. I don't even care as to why you were on my bed, I just need to speak to you,"

"Of course mas- Jared." The other woman quickly got off of the bed and made her way out of the room silently. As soon as the door closed loudly behind her, Jared sat down in the edge of his bed and placed his solemn looking face in his hands.

He felt the space on the bed next to him dip slightly, alerting him that Genevieve had joined him.  
"Who was that lady?" Jared raised his head to look over at his best friend.

"That was Danneel. We've been... Together for a few years now," she looked down at her hands on her lap, with a fond look on her face.

Jared laughed at her smitten look, "you kept the secret well. She is beautiful,"

Genevieve smiled up at Jared. "Yes she is."  
They sat there for a moment, smiling at each other.  
"Now, Jared. What did you need to speak to me for?" She swiftly changed the subject.

"Well you see," Jared was glad for the subject change, "it is about Megan's suitor. You see he, well... He pushed himself onto me," Jared blurted out, looking away from the woman.

He heard her bark out a laugh.  
"It would make sense that someone as handsome as him were into men."

Jared looked over at the laughing girl, confusion written all over his face.  
"This isn't a laughing matter Gen! The worse thing about it was that I enjoyed it. I wanted to kiss him back."

Genevieve's expression sobered quickly.  
"There is nothing wrong with a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman. It is who they are. Don't listen to what people gossip about. Saying that they are damned to hell. They are just delusional."

"I am so glad we had become friends, Gen," Jared smiled slightly, pulling her in for a side hug.

Genevieve laughed. "Now go my love, go and get what you want."


	3. Let us get to Know one Another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you just read this in a British like accent, it'd sound more fancy.

"Please come in! Welcome to our humble abode," Donna Ackles greeted the Padaleckis'.  
Mrs. Ackles took hold of Mrs. Padalecki's hand tightly, "I simply cannot wait to plan our children's wedding. Soon, we will be family."

"Yes, I , myself am very excited indeed," Mrs. Padalecki agreed, quite stiffly.

The Ackles family had invited the Padalecki family in turn, for luncheon. They had agreed right away, although out of the bunch, Jared was most likely the most anxious.

"Hello Jared," Mackenzie greeted the man, sneering quite ugly like.

"Hello, Mackenzie. What a wonderful day it is," Jared comments, smile fake.

Once Jensen and Megan finally joined the group a servant walked in behind them

"Jared," Jensen nodded his acknowledgement to Jared.

"Jensen, how are you," Jared pressed, stepping forward. Jensen held out his hand to shake Jared's, but Jared walked right passed him and eloped the black servant in a large hug.  
"Xavier. I have missed you dearly. I wished upon my parents for you not to get a transfer."

Xavier looked up at Jared. "I've missed you too Jared," giving him a shy smile.

Jared turned around in time to see something indecipherable flicker through Jensen's eyes.  
"You know each other?" He asked Jared, all but kind.

"I believe our parents had traded him for your old female servant, Danneel?" Jared told Jensen, looking over at his father looking for confrontation, who nodded.

"Why did we trade?" Jensen asked, extremely curious.

Mr. Padalecki looked his wife, looking uncomfortable. "Well, we had some private issues concerning Xavier," he told the group, then took his wife's hand.  
Jensen noticed the Padalecki children looking quite awkward. Jared especially.

_______________________________________

The whole group sat at the long dining table, eating éscargót.  
Xavier stands by the side, watching the families make stiff conversations.  
"So Jared, what do you do in your spare time?" Jensen paid full attention on the man.

"I read mainly. I do draw a sketch here and there. I'm far beyond the reach of being an artist," he replied politely.

"I see. You servant, pour Jared another drink," Jensen pointed to Xavier, who complied fast, pouring Jared a glass of rich wine.  
Everyone was too busy in conversation to notice, expect for Jensen.  
He noted the way that Jared and Xavier leaned in towards each other slightly.  
Jensen felt a pang of sudden jealousy at their open closeness, wishing it were him that Jared kept an eye on.

"Well Jared," Jensen proposed as soon as Xavier stepped away, "I say we must go on a hunting trip. Just you and I," Jensen took a slow sip from his wine glass, looking at Jared through his long eyelashes.

Jared nodded too quickly, sending a fast glance towards Xavier's general way, "that is an excellent idea Jensen," he agreed, sending warm shivers down Jensen's spine as he said his name.

"Are you free say... Wednesday?" Jensen asked hoping to catch him again as fast possible.

"I will get my personal servant, Genevieve, to organize the time with your own," Jared blushed lightly at his proposal to be alone.

"It is settled then," Jensen smiled a slow, easy, flirty smile.

________________________ 2 years ago.

"God, Xavier. I cannot simply get enough of you." Jared gasped.

"I'll never leave you Jared, never."

"You better not," Jared placed small kiss on Xavier's back.

"I love you," Xavier yelled once he reached his climax.

"I love you too," Jared smiled.


	4. The Hunt

Jared and Jensen were riding their own horses, Jared on a white stallion and Jensen on a brown rocky mountain horse, both had shotguns strapped onto their backs.

"My gosh, today the sun shines hotter than most," Jensen complained.

"It does indeed," Jared nodded, shading his eyes with his hand.

Jensen sighed, not to excited for the long day ahead of them. "So Jared. How is your sister? I hope she is well," Jensen looked at Jared's broad back.

"She is very well indeed, though she is ill from missing you," Jared looked back at Jensen, giving him a quick, sly smile.

"I miss her too," Jensen lied, demanding his horse to move faster, so they were walking alongside Jared and his horse, Jovone. "Though I was very excited about today," Jensen told the younger man, truthfully.

"So was I," Jared sent a sideway glance at Jensen, "by the way, I must ask you a very important question."

"Of course," Jensen grinned charmingly.

"Well... You see... I have no idea how to bring up this awkward subject, but the day we met, when you well... You know. Why did you do that?"

Jensen's heart eating grin disappeared. "I suppose you could call it an action of the spur of the moment," he tried to reason.

"But we were not having a moment," Jared frowned at the man.

"I," Jensen sighed, finally fed up. "I'll be honest. I like you. More than your sister or any other lady I have walked with," he rushed out.

"You... Like me?" Jared blinked at Jensen.

"Please do not spread my secret. People would seriously kill me," Jensen begged slightly.

"You have no need to worry. I am afraid that I am also slightly attracted to you," Jensen perked up gladly, "but, Jensen. I can't start anything with you. You are to marry my baby sister and you see, seeing Xavier the other day, it brought back feeling I thought I no longer had," Jared turned his head back to in front of him, paying attention as to where his horse was walking.

"Xavier?" Jensen asked, sounding devastated.

"Yes. You see, we fell in love and something devastating happened. Now please, I know what you're thinking. How could I fall in love with a black man and who was also a servant? It's simple, he is a wonderful man." Jared smiles at fond memories that he and Xavier share secretly.

"Oh, we are here," Jensen spoke up after a few minutes of silence, covering up his obvious jealously.

_______________________________________

Jared and Jensen sat, side by side in the long grass, guns perched up awaiting for a shot of a wild rabbit.  
Both horses await their owners further away, tied to a tree.

"I didn't think it'd take hours to get just one shot," Jensen whined.

"You must be patient. I have shot many of the critters before, with my father and brother," Jared laughed at Jensen's expense.

"Oh I see. You are the type of person who takes this up as sport!" Jensen quietly cheered at his deduction.

"Well of course I am. I've been hunting since I was only ten years old," Jared looked over at Jensen, who was already staring at him, and gave him his winning smile.

Jensen blushed lightly and faced back to the field in front of them.  
"My nanny that took care of me as I was growing up, Sam, she had told me it was a cruel and vicious thing to do. You know, to kill living things.

"Gosh Jensen. I never realized getting rid of these pests were such a bad thing," Jared mocked seriousness.

Jensen gave Jared a narrowed look, "if you weren't so... Perfect, I'd have hit you by now."

Silence. Jensen instantly regreted his words.

"Well, if it weren't for you having a beautiful face, I'd have punched it by now," Jared remarked playfully, or so Jensen hoped.

His hesitation must have shown on his face, for a second later Jared reassured him that it was all a joke.

Just at that moment a rabbit appeared and Jensen bit his tongue to stop himself from cheering in triumph.  
"You take this one Jensen," Jared offered, voice only a whisper.

Jensen bought his gun up and aimed carefully. The rabbit was in one spot, eating a plush looking bit of grass.  
Jensen took a deep breath, then pulled the trigger.

The men watched as the bullet pierced through the rabbit's head, splashing blood and dropped.

"I did it! I actually killed one!" Jensen bounced up, lifting his arms above him.

"Well done!" Jared cheered, excitedly standing up. He stepped towards Jensen and wrapped his large arms around Jensen's waist.  
Jensen in turn wrapped his own arms around Jared's neck and let Jared lift him off the ground and spin him around.

Jared let Jensen down, beaming down at the older man. "Go and collect the rabbit. We must take it back to your home."

Jensen smiled further and ran over to the dead animal and carefully tied its feet up with a piece of rope he had picked up along the way.

He hefted the light weight up enough for Jared to start cheering again, they both smiling widely and felt as if a true friendship had started between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all are thinking "why must she say that it was bad thing for Jared falling in love with a black man" it's because back in them days people were fucking racist douchebags.
> 
> (And as you must know, people were also homophobic)


	5. Look into the Past, Part one

_________________________2 years ago

"Mr. Padalecki, I apologize for the interference, but you mother is wanting to speak to you in private," a new servant addresses Jared.

Jared smiled up him from where he was reading in the library, "thank you. Where may she be?" Jared slowly stood to his feet, towering over the servant.

"She is drinking tea in the gardens, Master," the shorter black man bowed his head respectively.

Jared blinked, not used to such regard. "Please, you must call me Jared. Master and Mr. Padalecki is my father and I am far from that age. I'm only eighteen," Jared laughed, his voice sounding musical.

"I'm sorry, Mas- Jared," the servant dared to look up at the man avoiding eye contact, who turns out to be older than him.

"Don't apologize." Jared waved his apology off. "How old are you... I'm afraid I don't know your name,"

"Your father named me John," the servant dared look Jared in the eyes, "and I am only sixteen."

"Please tell me the name your mother gave you," Jared stepped a bit closer to the boy.

"My mother?" The servant felt a pang of sadness at the thought of his mother who has passed a year ago. "She named me Xavier."

"Xavier," Jared repeated "I like it. Much more so than John. I'll call you by that." Jared cupped a hand on Xavier's shoulder, then left the library, leaving Xavier alone with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

_______________________________________

"Xavier! Xavier!" Jared called out to the beautiful servant who swept the house's patio.

Xavier turned to see the bigger man run to him, book in his large hand.  
"How may I assist you sir?" Xavier bowed respectfully.

Jared laughed at him, amusement clear in his slated eyes. "Please, call me Jared. Sir is also my father. And stop bowing, it makes me quite uncomfortable," Jared placed his hand on Xavier's head patting it.  
Unconsciously Xavier leaned into the warming touch.

"Well then, how may I assist you Jared?" Xavier smiles brightly up at him, feeling a twist in his stomach. He couldn't fathom whether the feeling was welcomed or sickening.

"Megan has piano lessons today and I were to go with her, hoping to play a bit myself," he admitted shyly, rubbing the back of his head, "but would you accompany us?"

"I have duties here. I wouldn't want to be a bother," Xavier clutched the broom he held tightly.

"It is all sorted. I talked to mama and she welcomes you to accompany us. Though I must admit, the teacher is very particular, so I must lend you cleaner clothing," Jared motioned to the servants rags. Jared couldn't understand as to why the boy didn't clothe in proper attire.

"I wouldn't want to be a nuisance," Xavier looked down at his feet, feeling a burning at his cheeks at the thought of wearing the man's clothing.

"Nonsense. Now follow me to my chambers," Jared turned and started to walk expecting the boy to follow him.  
Which he did quite eagerly.  
***

Mrs. Padalecki, Megan, Jared and Xavier sat in the slightly small carriage, Jared and Xavier pressed close, thighs against each others. 

"So, Xavier, have you ever played the piano?" Jared asked, to fill the silence.

"Jared, darling, do not speak such nonsense. James is just a servant."  
Jared ignored the looks he got from the ladies of his family, and paid full on the young boy.

Xavier looks at the women across from him nervously, then shyly looking at his hands. "I know how to play. Not as much as I am sure you do," he quickly looked at Megan, her eyes surprisingly kind.

"I see Jared has kindly lent his clothing. Quite large aren't they?" Megan swiftly changed the subject.

Jared looked over at Xavier, who looked back at him, smiling fondly.  
"It is, yet I think he looks charming."   
Jared secretly placed a large hand on Xavier's smaller one.  
The boy looked at their hands then back at Jared, a new kind of twist in his stomach, Jared feeling the same way.

They were both too busy eyeing each other deeply for them to notice Mrs. Padalecki watching them, face showing concern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very short, I AM aware, though I will continue this chapter into a part two and besides, I've already planned each chapter.
> 
> Feedback of any kind will be appreciated, so I know whether to keep this one up or not.  
> Taah xx


End file.
